Complete the parts of an essay with the correct punctuation marks

While working on my project about school subjects that should be excluded from the school curriculum I have found the results of the opinion polls on the subject
As it is presented by the diagram a very large proportion of teenagers pointed at such unnecessary subjects such as Art and Music 41 % and 25 % respectively
As the diagram suggests the most popular unnecessary subject at school among teenagers is Life Safety Fundamentals as many of them consider information about safety rules and army marching boring However many of the students would like to exclude Information Technology as the most useless for them
In my viewpoint the main reason why they want to exclude the above-mentioned subjects from the curriculum is the fact that information provided by the teachers of these subjects has become outdated nowadays
To sum up I would like to say that the school system needs to be updated due to the new challenges our world is facing Therefore new subjects that are more interesting and useful for teenagers should replace the old ones